占山头

作者：
words-randomly-tumbling
Window Shopping (A Lars Bender OS)
Lars enlists the help of his friend to find him a date but with someone as picky as Lars Bender, it’s going to be all kinds of complicated.
For violetbayern.
--
“How about her?”
Lars Bender peered through the glass walls at where she was pointing.
“She’s too tall,” he said. “If she wears heels, she might be taller than me.”
She made a show of rolling her eyes at him. The coffee they both ordered had long gone cold. They’ve been at this exact spot of the coffee shop for hours, looking at the busy street of one of the more hip areas in the city. Anika was friends with both Sven and Lars, but Sven was perfectly capable of getting his own date to this function for outstanding German players. Unlike this one.
”You’re impossible to please!” she said with exasperation. “Too tall, shocking fashion sense, looks clingy, too brawny…”
“That one was a man!” he pointed out.
She giggled, covering her mouth with her hand. “Well, you never know. You’re awfully picky when it comes to girls.”
“Just because I have a good idea of what I want—”
“I know, I know, don’t get your frilly panties in a twist,” she interrupted. He glared stonily at her, looking more like Sven in that moment than he usually does. It was usually Sven who she vexed so easily. For a millisecond, a flicker of confusion clouded her brain but his glare turned into a boyish grin and she was sure that this was Lars again.
Well, to be 100% sure… she reached under the table and stroked the top of his knee lightly. Almost instantly, his knee jerked and knocked the bottom of the table. The cups jangled against their saucers but thankfully, nothing fell off and broke.
“Anika! You know I’m Lars!” he exclaimed loudly. A few heads turned his way so he lowered his voice. “We haven’t pulled a switch in years!”
“So you say. Only Sven calls me by my full name…” she said blithely, glad that her tried and true method of testing which twin is which still works. Lars had an extremely ticklish spot on his knees while you can poke and prod at Sven all you want and he won’t crack a grin.
Anika leaned her forehead against the glass and surveyed the street once again. She pointed towards shoe store on the other side of the street where a beautiful woman in an aqua maxi dress and oversized shades was coming out.
“Alright, how about her?” she said. “Oops, nope, she’s with someone.”
They watched as the woman walked arm in arm with an equally handsome guy who looked vaguely Italian in heritage. Anika made a discontent noise.
“That one,” Lars suddenly said.
“Which one?” she asked, her brow furrowed in concentration as she looked at the direction Lars was looking.
“The one near the fountain, the cute one. She’s really cute,” he said earnestly. “That’s who I want, get her for me, Ani.”
“Am I your pimp? Why don’t you get her yourself?” she muttered.

“This was your idea…” he wheedled. “And you’re good with people. She won’t be creeped out if it’s you.”
She sighed a long-suffering sigh but she was already pushing her chair back. She did sort of force this idea on Lars. Well, her and Sven.
“Near the fountain?” she asked.
“Yes, the cute one,” he repeated.
She stomped out of the café and walk the short distance to the stone fountain in the middle of the cobbled streets. In her personal opinion, the humongous Baroque-inspired fountain was an eyesore to the charming little streets which were originally just tiny cafes and art studios but now houses designer shops and expensive restaurants. She reached the fountain, seeing only an old guy there and some children.
Anika swung around to look back at Lars, who was watching her from the café window. She held up her hands in a confused gesture, mouthing ‘Where?’. Lars started pointing vigorously towards the direction of the fountain, which she was standing right in front of. She looked behind her and shook her head at him.
Even from the distance, she saw him roll his eyes good-naturedly. He once again pointed, this time with more emphasis. She looked at the area for any signs of the so-called cute girl, but all she saw was the kid playing in the fountain. God, she hoped Lars didn’t mean her. She was not prepared to visit him in prison.
To her surprise, Lars was heading towards her, a look of exasperation on his face.
“You’re useless, Ani. Do I have to get her myself?” he asked.
She opened her mouth to protest that he was seeing an imaginary girl but quicker than she’s ever seen him move, he swooped down and kissed her. Anika’s knees almost buckled beneath her, but Lars held her steady as he patiently waited for her to kiss him back. She could feel his smile against her lips when she finally responded, standing on her tiptoes so he didn’t need to bend so low.
They drew apart but he kept his forehead on hers. “I told you I know what I want,” he whispered a little shyly. “I just needed the perfect moment to go for it.”
“Well played, Bender,” she said as he bit his lip, grinning giddily at her. “Well played…”
—
A/N: Two one-shots in a day! Don’t get used to it… ;)

第二篇：
作者：footie-fics
Beauty Guru (a Lars Bender one shot)
这是作者介绍：【Sorry I have been MIA for a few days, homework has been an over load and I’ve been really busy with AP Test Prep and Football Training. I got this idea this afternoon when I was watching some “My Boyfriend Does My Make Up Tag” videos on Youtube which made me start conjuring up a one shot. Hope you all enjoy :)】
“You promised!”
“Ash, I’ll make a fool of myself.” Lars Bender stated as Ashley giggled only to kiss her boyfriends lips.
“Why are you so worried? You get out in front of millions of people and play football, how is this any different?” She asked as she brought another stool over to the front of her vanity.
“What if the guys see this? or my brother? Hell, I’ll never live this down.” Ashley rolled her eyes.
“It’s not like I’m putting make up on you.” Lars sat down on the stool next to her as she laid out all of her make up that she used on a daily basis. She grabbed her camera and set it up before pressing the record button after fixing her hair into a bun on top of her head.
“Hey guys, so I’m here today with my boyfriend Lars.” Ashley turned and looked at Lars who awkwardly waved and smiled. She laughed and placed her head on his shoulder. “You all know he plays football professionally for Leverkusen from my vlogs.” She paused. “So, I thought what a better way to introduce you guys to him then doing the boyfriend does my make up tag.” Lars picked up her eyelash curler.
“You woman have some weird contraptions.” He stated as Ashley giggled.
“Don’t break those, I paid a lot of money for them.” Ashley took the curler out of his hand and set it down on the table. “I can’t tell you how to put any of this on so, do the best you can.” She stated as he chuckled.
“I hope your ready to look like a clown.” He stated as he picked up her foundation. “What hell am I suppose to do with this?” He asked looking at the bottle. “They could put directions on this.” Lars undid the cap before sticking his finger into the tan liquid before smearing it onto her forehead until it was covering her skin.
He continued smearing it on her face. “Your hurting me, rub a little softer, hard hands.” Ashley stated when he blended it to hard causing him to laugh with her as well.
“Sorry, this is hard to tell if it doesn’t look right.” He said with a smile. “Now my hands are tan.” He stated as he leaned down to pick up her bronzer.
“I am so scared you are going to f this one up.” Ashley stated as he tried to open the compact.
“Babe, please have some faith in me.” Lars got the compact open and grabbed one of the brushes before swiping the bronzer across her face. “It’s not like I’m going to screw anything up.” Ashley rolled her eyes as he pinched her cheek.
He put the Bronzer down and grabbed the blush. “I think this goes on your eyelids. It looks like it should.” Ashley whined as he put the blush on her eyelids. “Am I doing something wrong?” He asked with a laugh.
“No, it’s just that your putting blush on my eyelids.” She stated as he smiled. “Stop smiling, it’s not funny I probably look stupid.” Lars leaned in and kissed her lips softly.
“You look beautiful.” He stated on her lips as she smiled. She pulled him into another kiss. Her hands ran up his chest to wrap around his neck as she moved to straddle his lap. He deepened the kiss before poking her with her Kabuki brush. She laughed softly before having him wipe powder all over her face.
“Babe, your getting make up all over your jersey.” She stated as tan powder fell onto his jersey she was wearing.
“It’s your fault for wearing it.” He stated before putting the powder down and moved to grab the liquid eyeliner. Ashley winced.
“I am terrified for my well being with this one.” He moved the pen across her eye lid and then underneath her eye. “It’s so cold.” She stated as he laughed before starting the next side. “You are making me look like a freaking raccoon.” Ashley moved to look in her mirror.
“I think you look cute.” Lars picked up the mascara before putting it on her eyelashes and finishing her make up. “Were done,” He stated before she made a face.
“Your lucky I love you because I look like I got punched in the face.” He shook his head before pecking her lips.
“You look fine.” He said.
“Well, I think that’s it for this video, Now I’m going to go wash this off my face. Until next time.” Ashley waved bye before turning the camera off and procceded to take the make up off.
Lars had moved over to her bed which made Ashley smile as she moved over to the bed. She moved to straddle him as he leaned up to kiss her warmly.
“You owe me.” He said on her lips.
“No, I think you owe me.” His hands rolled her underneath his strong chest before kissing her neck softly.
“As you wish, sweetheart.”

英英英英文啊。。。表示英语退化了好多看到这么些头大了都

@Z小兔93 粗线！！来翻译了

0.0

第一篇比较好懂啦就是拉二斯追女孩，女孩一开始貌似不喜欢他（喜欢斯文？我不太清楚）。。然后他让那女的到街边的什么地方帮他追一个cute的女孩，女的到那里发现没有那样一个女孩，这是时拉丝走过来意思说那女孩就是他想要的，然后就吻了她。。最后还挺喜欢的，那女的说 干得好，笨德～还挺酷的啊哈哈 还是喜欢看他和斯文的腐文啊 原创女猪脚无感而且还会嫉妒呢！

第一篇我快翻译完了睡醒了给发上来，我已经达到忍耐极限了，暧昧的情节只可意会不可言传为毛看懂还要解释一遍破坏气氛，气死我噜非文科森没那性子!

哈哈

刚想说不要ing文，就看见滚滚字母袭来、、

第二篇简直要了狗命！翻译了90%又翻不下去噜！一道亲热情节我就搜不鸟了！去吃饭！回来再翻！我突然间想起一句歌词：For you I bleed myself dry.
Lars Bender，你看看我都为了你做了些什么不愿做的事情啊

《美容专家》
“你答应过的！”
“Ash，我会让自己看起来像个傻子的。”当Ashley咯咯地笑着要去亲她男朋友嘴唇的时候Lars Bender阐明道。
“你为什么这么担心呢？你在上百万人面前踢足球，这个又有什么不一样呢？”当她又拿了一个凳子放在她化妆台前面时问道。
“如果男的看见这个了怎么办？或是我弟弟看见了？我的妈，那我这辈子都撇不清了。”Ashley翻了翻白眼。
“这又不是我要给你化妆。”当她翻弄出她每天要用的所有化妆品时，Lars在她旁边的凳子上坐了下来。她把头发盘成了个球，然后抓过她的相机设置好便按下了录像键。
“嗨，大家好，今天是我和我的男朋友Lars在这里。”Ashley转过身看着Lars，后者正尴尬的挥了挥手并笑了一下。她哈哈的笑了然后把头搭在了他的肩膀上。“你们通过我的视频博客都知道的，他是效力于勒沃库森的职业足球运动员。”她停顿了一下。“所以我想，通过让他给我化妆来把你们大家介绍给他是多么好的一个方式啊。”Lars拿起了她的睫毛夹。
“你们女人总有一些奇怪的想法。”Ashley咯咯笑的时候他说。
“别把那个弄坏了，我花了好多钱买的呢。”Ashley把睫毛夹从他手里夺了出来然后放在了桌子上。“我不能告诉你怎么用这些，所以，尽你所能去做。”他窃笑时她说。
“我希望你准备好变成一个小丑。”当他拿起她的粉底时说道。“我特么怎么用这个？”他看着瓶子问。“他们本可以把说明写在这上面啊。”Lars扭开了盖子，把手指头伸进了深色的液体里然后抹在了她的前额上直到盖住了她的皮肤。
他继续涂抹她的脸。“你弄疼我了，轻点擦，硬爪子。”当他涂得太卖力导致他自己也忍俊不禁的时候她说道。
“不好意思，这个要是看着不对我也很难分辨。”他微笑着说。“现在我的手都成棕褐色了。”他弯腰去拿她的古铜色化妆品时说。
“我实在太害怕你把这个也搞砸了。”他要打开小粉盒时Ashley说。
“宝贝，请对我有点信心。”Lars把小盒打开了，拿出其中一只粉刷然后蘸了古铜色的粉在她脸上扫来扫去。“又不是我能把一切都搞砸。”Ashley在他捏她脸颊的时候翻了翻白眼。他把古铜色化妆品放下然后又拿来了腮红。“我认为这是涂在你眼皮上的。它看上去就应该是。”当他把刷子放在她眼皮上的时候Ashley哀叫了一声。“我做错了什么吗？”他笑着问。
“没有，就是你把刷子放在我眼皮上了。”他笑着时她说。
“别笑了，这又不搞笑，弄得我很可能看上去傻呵呵的。”Lars倾下身子轻柔地亲吻她的嘴。
“你看上美极了。”她微笑着，他在她的唇上说道。她拉过他又吻了一次。她一边将手顺着他的胸膛直到环绕着他的脖颈，一边慢慢移动坐在他的腿上。他将吻继续深入，直到她的多功能蘑菇刷捅到了她自己。她温柔地笑了然后让他把她脸上的粉都擦掉。
“宝贝，你把化妆品都弄到你的球衣上了。”当棕褐色粉饼掉到她穿着的他的球衣上时，她埋怨道。
“你穿它就是个错误。”他说着把粉饼拿下来然后去拿了液体眼线笔。Ashley吓的退缩了一下。
“我真怕我这个做的太好了。”他用笔划过她的眼皮又画眼睛下面。“真凉。”她说。他哈哈地笑然后又画另一边。“你把我画的像个特么的浣熊似的。”Ashley移过身照了照镜子。
“我觉得你看上去挺Q的。”Lars拿起睫毛膏准备刷她的睫毛然后就结束化妆。“完事了，”他说完她做了个鬼脸。
“我爱你是你的幸运，因为我看上去像是被人揍了一拳似的。”他摇摇头然后啄了一下她的嘴唇。
“你看上去挺好。”他说。
“嗯，我觉得这也就是为了拍这个录像，现在我要去把我脸上的妆都洗掉。下次再见！”Ashley在关掉相机前挥手拜拜，然后就去卸妆了。
Lars在Ashley回来前就已经待在了她的床上让Ashley不禁莞尔。她走过去跨坐在他旁边，这时他倾身温暖地吻了她。
“你欠我的。”他停留在她的唇上喃喃道。
“不，我想是你欠我的。”他的大手把她卷到了他强壮的胸膛下面然后柔软地吻向她的脖子。
“如你所愿，甜心。”