Problem Sovler
While reading the newspaper one morning, a man came across a job advertised for a "Problem Solver" with a big salary of $200,000. He applied for the job, had an interiew and was given the job.
"Do you have any questions?" asked his new employer.
"Just one," replied the man. "How can you give me such a high salary?"
"That," said the employer, "is your first problem"

Who Was On The Earth First
A bricklayer, a carpenter and en electrician argued about who was on the earth first.
"We built the Pyramids of Giza," said the bricklayer," so we must have been first."
"No," said the carpenter, shaking his head. "We built Noah's Ark long before that."
The ecectrician chuckled to himself."
"What's so funny?" asked the carpenter.
"On the first day of creation."God said, "let there be light,"explained the electrician."And we'd already laid the cables"

amusing

Hilter Saw A film
Onde Hilter didn't wear a military uniform. He was seeing a film at a cinema in Berlin.
When Hitler was speaking on the screen, all the people in the cinema were standing up.
They were raising their right hands as Hilter did. But only Hitler himself was still sitting there quietly.
The old man next to him was very surprised. He said to him in a very low voice, "Our feeling are the same as yours. But we dare not turn against Hitler like you bravely in public."

Which one to choose?
My husband took two exams on the same day and came home, exhuasted from hours fo answering multiple-choice questions. He lay on the safa.
My mother came to tell him that dinner was ready and asked if he would prefer water, lemonade or milk with his meal.
He paused for a momonet and then replied. "I'll tak C, the milk"
V : boyuanpeanut

The Twins
We have a set fo six-year-old twins in the family, Kyle and Keaton.Sometimes it's hard to tell one from the other. At family parties, it's common to hear, " I'm not Kyle. I'm Keaton," or "I'm not Keaton, I'm Kyle."
At a party, a cousin asked, "Kyle , do you like the cake?" The boy was a little annoyed and answered, "I'm not Kyle." After a moment, looking surprised, he added,"Wait a minute. I am Kyle!"

First Aid
My mother and my wife——both nureses—— were shoping together when a woman in a nearby dressing room fell unconsicious. Mum discovered that the woman wasn't breathing, so she and my wife gave the woman first aid at once.
A few minutes later, the woman came to at last. When she opened her mouth, my mother and my wife thought maybe she wanted to thank them, but instead she said, "I still want to buy that dress."

Excuse
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.
Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.
When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank God" his date replied, "If yours hadn't, mine would have" had to.
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Editor's Reply
Ambassador Walter Hines Page was at one time editor of the World's Work and, like all editors, was obliged to refuse a great many stories.
A lady once wrote him, "Sir: you sent back last week a story of mine. I know that you did not read the story,and the story came back with these pages still pasted; and so I know you are a fraud and turn down stories without reading them."
Mr. Page wrote back, "Madame: At breakfast when I open an egg I don't have to eat the whole egg to discover it is bad."

The silly Bellboy
After paying the bill the departing gest turned and yelled to the bellboy, "quick, boy, run up to Room 123 and see if I left my pajamas and razor. Rum, because I've got just six minutes to catch my train."
Four minutes later the bellboy was back. all out of breath,"Yes, sir,"he reported, "They're up there."

What are you Here For?
My grandfather prides himself on being a perfectionist.
Once he walked into a barbershop, carefully took off his overcoat and hung it up. Next he removed his jacket and neatly put that on a hanger. Then he started to loosen his tie and unbutton the top two buttons of his shirt. Finally he sat down.
The barber came to him and asked,"Sir , are you here for a haircut?""Of course," Grandpa replied very selfconfidently. "Well then," said the barber. " You'll need to take off your hat."
boyuanpeanut

An Unnpleasant Meeting
John Randolph and Henry Clay once had a quarrel in the Senate at Washing ton. For several weeks they did not speak, when one day they met on Pennsylvanis Avenue. Each saw the other coming up the sidewalk which was very narrow at that particular point, and each was meditating as to how far he would turn out for the other to pass.
As Randolph came up he looked the grand old Kentuckian straight in the eye and, keeping the sidewalk, hissed,"I never turn out ofr scooundrels!""I always do," said Mr. Clay as he tepped politely out into the mud and let Randolph have the walk.
V:boyuanpeanut

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