This might just piss you off.
I kinda hope it does, cos it's time to set the record straight:
The whole "Pickup" community, "The Game," "The Pickup Artist" and all...
It's all a lie.
Don't believe me? Read below what I wrote last year, and tell me what YOU believe.
I'm sitting on my friend's boat cruising down the river to the waterfront in Tampa. It's a cool summer night. Frogs are chirping, the sun is setting slow and pink, and the houses on the river's edge look more inviting with every minute.
And it hits me. I don't want to go out to bars and pickup chicks.
In fact, I never really did. I want something much harder to find, and much rarer to get.
I want love. And maybe it's because there are things that happened in my past that made me feel it was taken from me, and now I need to make it work.
And maybe it's because I know a lot of men just like me who can find all kinds of people, good, skilled teachers, to help them meet and fuck lots of women for one night, but can't find anyone who wants to help them find a woman who is worth keeping around for longer.
I want to date and fall in love. And my dream is to one day have lived my life with women so fully, and understand myself and women so well that when I find one that just won't leave my mind, I know what to do in order to keep dating her, every day and every night, for the rest of my life.
Maybe you know that feeling. Maybe not. Maybe you just want sex. And there's nothing wrong with that. God knows I've had my share of hookups and years where all that mattered was ending up in bed (or in a sand-trap, or the back of an Eddie Bauer Ford Bronco) with a willing, happy, heated up hottie.
But whatever you want now, exactly, the things you learn about women should always be designed to NOT exclude any result. The skills for all kinds of relationships are the same. It takes the same kind of guy to meet a girl and get her into bed as to keep her happily in your bed years later. They aren't different people.
You learn to pickup girls so you can build on it and learn to love women.
When I left my job at Stanford University to work for a pickup company full time, my father asked me one very good question.
"Do you want to be teaching guys how to pickup girls in bars when you are 50?" he asked.
I laughed it off. I made some intelligent-sounding remark about how that's not what we really do, and bars and clubs are just practice for people learning to be social. But the question stayed with me, because my answer was so clear.
No, I don't want to teach men how to pickup girls in bars when I'm 50. I don't want to teach them now that I'm 36.
I want to teach people how to find love and make it work. I want the big goddamned American dream. I want a great woman who treats me like a king, not because I play some games with her or manage the relationship well, but because I understand her, and she understands me, and we are adults who work well together and make each other stronger and happier in our love. I want a family of my own. I want kids to play with and throw a baseball too. I want football games on Thanksgiving in the backyard. I want my friends to bring their families over for barbeques and I want to know that we all can be in love and have someone to care for us exactly as who we are, and never have to suffer through divorce.
I want what we all deserve. Love. Companionship. A classic girl and more total happiness for less work.
I also know exactly what I don't want, and if you are like me and have already lived a little in your life, if you've built a career and have something good in your life and something to share and don't feel like ripping it all down and pretending you are something you're not just to get laid, well, I think you will understand this too.
A very wise man named Chris Rock explains it this way.
I kinda hope it does, cos it's time to set the record straight:
The whole "Pickup" community, "The Game," "The Pickup Artist" and all...
It's all a lie.
Don't believe me? Read below what I wrote last year, and tell me what YOU believe.
I'm sitting on my friend's boat cruising down the river to the waterfront in Tampa. It's a cool summer night. Frogs are chirping, the sun is setting slow and pink, and the houses on the river's edge look more inviting with every minute.
And it hits me. I don't want to go out to bars and pickup chicks.
In fact, I never really did. I want something much harder to find, and much rarer to get.
I want love. And maybe it's because there are things that happened in my past that made me feel it was taken from me, and now I need to make it work.
And maybe it's because I know a lot of men just like me who can find all kinds of people, good, skilled teachers, to help them meet and fuck lots of women for one night, but can't find anyone who wants to help them find a woman who is worth keeping around for longer.
I want to date and fall in love. And my dream is to one day have lived my life with women so fully, and understand myself and women so well that when I find one that just won't leave my mind, I know what to do in order to keep dating her, every day and every night, for the rest of my life.
Maybe you know that feeling. Maybe not. Maybe you just want sex. And there's nothing wrong with that. God knows I've had my share of hookups and years where all that mattered was ending up in bed (or in a sand-trap, or the back of an Eddie Bauer Ford Bronco) with a willing, happy, heated up hottie.
But whatever you want now, exactly, the things you learn about women should always be designed to NOT exclude any result. The skills for all kinds of relationships are the same. It takes the same kind of guy to meet a girl and get her into bed as to keep her happily in your bed years later. They aren't different people.
You learn to pickup girls so you can build on it and learn to love women.
When I left my job at Stanford University to work for a pickup company full time, my father asked me one very good question.
"Do you want to be teaching guys how to pickup girls in bars when you are 50?" he asked.
I laughed it off. I made some intelligent-sounding remark about how that's not what we really do, and bars and clubs are just practice for people learning to be social. But the question stayed with me, because my answer was so clear.
No, I don't want to teach men how to pickup girls in bars when I'm 50. I don't want to teach them now that I'm 36.
I want to teach people how to find love and make it work. I want the big goddamned American dream. I want a great woman who treats me like a king, not because I play some games with her or manage the relationship well, but because I understand her, and she understands me, and we are adults who work well together and make each other stronger and happier in our love. I want a family of my own. I want kids to play with and throw a baseball too. I want football games on Thanksgiving in the backyard. I want my friends to bring their families over for barbeques and I want to know that we all can be in love and have someone to care for us exactly as who we are, and never have to suffer through divorce.
I want what we all deserve. Love. Companionship. A classic girl and more total happiness for less work.
I also know exactly what I don't want, and if you are like me and have already lived a little in your life, if you've built a career and have something good in your life and something to share and don't feel like ripping it all down and pretending you are something you're not just to get laid, well, I think you will understand this too.
A very wise man named Chris Rock explains it this way.
